Wednesday 7th May 2025

I hate it when I finish reading Murderbot Diaries and I wish I was still reading Murderbot Diaries.

It's just a really good character and nothing else seems to satiate that particular void. The podcasts are too ugh, the TV is too sigh, and the other books aren't Murderbot-ty enough. My brain is screaming for distraction.

I'm still in my little creative kick right now. I'm designing Knight helmets for Pride which is the most complicated and ambitious thing I have ever tried to do in a workshop. I've completed my first models today and they are awful but I'm having such a good time challenging myself and pushing my skills further and trying to figure it out. I can't stop having fun Knight thoughts and it's ten to 1 in the morning it is not helping me to switch my brain OFF.

My friend also started a watercolour painting workshop and I'm not really much of a painter so I keep thinking about what kinds of things I might want to do next week building on this week's session. 

My instinct is to start ripping it up and testing different surfaces and sticking bits of stuff together and sewing back into it and by the time I've done all that it's not really watercolour anymore? It's not really experimenting if you just do the stuff you normally like to do. I feel like my picture this week was just too conservative and lacked fun and excitement. So also not helping me to chill out and sleep.

I'm due to start making costumes for a parade this week and I have to sort out what days I will be working. Luckily I don't have to design these, just support other artists. So I'm kinda like y'all only got 1 month to make 100 costumes let's just get on with it already.

And once all that is out of the way I got a project with another friend which is a response to AI and technology which I'm planning to do in ceramics. I want to call it Error or something like that. I want to make weird cylinders. But maybe I should consider trying to tie it into my people sketches I did last month. I'm not sure, lots of stuff to try out.

I think that last one is going to be the biggest project I have done since I finished university. But I think I'm ready for it. But thinking about all the cool shit I could make isn't calming my brain down either.

I would like to step outside my head a little. Could use a mental hamster wheel right now. So I could stop being creative and rest. And my nephew's birthday is coming up and also I want to bake some more bread for a picnic on Sunday. I will start planning snacks and sandwiches if I'm not careful. I need ice for a giant iced latte I want to make.

Reading: nothing 

Watching: ugh