Decided to start blogging again so that the information is available if anybody in my life wants to find out how I'm doing.
TLDR: it's shit. I am always doing shit actually. Remember when you asked me how I was doing and I was like *smile!* good thanks! Total fucking lie I am doing shit.
I made a previously boring and personal blog a few years ago and I decided to crank that up a notch and be even more tedious. I feel like screaming. I want to throw a chair.
I will probably walk around in circles muttering to myself and vaguely worrying about how my life is going to ever get any better because frankly it just seems to get worse and worse and worse in the most fucking aggravatingly dull manner.
It's like driving a car at 0.02 miles per hour into a wall and just not stopping. Won't somebody think of the paintwork?????? Will she run out of fuel? is the wall okay?? Is she going to stop? No? oh okay then i guess...
I am pissed that I can just NEVER seem to get my fucking stupid ducks in a FUCKING ROW. HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO GET IN A FUCKING LINE YOU RUBBER MONSTROSITIES.
I am so fucking mad. Not that you would ever really know to look at me. Not that you are likely to look at me because I almost never go outside now. But really I'm quite placid I guess.
I take nice pictures of flowers sometimes. I send my friends nice messages because I want to build my people up. But I am rotting. I try not to be or at least I used to try, I been not trying so hard for a while now. Perhaps I could grow some cool mushrooms from within.
I'm not in a good place right now. I don't want to tell anybody because it's nothing new and it's the same place I've been for such a long time. Just a really slow car crash. Just not saving myself. People want to hear news. It's nothing new. I just feel really crazy and stuck and I can never seem to get myself out of this hole.
Song stuck in my head today: Andromeda by Weyes Blood
https://open.spotify.com/track/51EMSRpNm9Rg5rGViVCczv?si=cb959787deb44e3c
Currently Reading: Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Service-Model-Adrian-Tchaikovsky/dp/1250290287
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