I finished reading Flowers for Algernon which was probably a mistake. I normally avoid reading sad stories because I think life is sad enough sometimes without looking for extra fictional things to be sad about in my spare time.
I think the thing that struck me was that no matter how smart he was or was not, charly was a beautiful person.
It was nice how through his journey the guys at the bakery learned to treat him with respect, how he never lost his wonder or craving to learn more, and when he knew that his mind couldn't be saved, he still chose to use every last cognitive moment to try and help others even though he knew it was too late for him.
I got the book a while back after reading The Speed of Dark by Elizabeth Moon which is a story about an autistic man in the future who is being pressured and bullied by his workplace into getting dangerous experimental surgery to cure his autism.
I didn't like the way the book ended so I purchased Flowers for Algernon as a different and more satisfying approach to the magic of dangerous not fully tested experimental science fixing people's developmental disabilities.
Even though Flowers for Algernon is a much older and therefore much more filled with R slurs book, it felt less insulting to the protagonist somehow.
I've continued working on my sister's Halloween mask, and I think I'm nearly at the end stretch. I've loved doing this project and I'm anticipating feeling a little sad once it has been completed.
I will be proud and satisfied but also I will miss having a creative project where I can plan and spend time learning new things and making something to the best of my ability.
When was the last time I really pushed myself and challenged my technical skills in this manner? When was the last time I looked at something and then made a plan of how to make my own version of it and then carried it through?
I can't remember when I just leaned into my pedantic side and allowed myself so be so exacting. For a long time I have linked my art practice to abstract expression, material quality, treating flaws and mistakes as just my way of projecting my own human-ness into my work.
The logic is that art is a form of communication, and part of what makes it art is that it is made by a human artist.
When we go to see art, we are hoping to form a connection to the person who made the art and tried to communicate with us something that might not be fully able to be conveyed by words.
Therefore it is important to me to leave hints and traces of my human-ness in my artwork, to leave the flaws and the fingerprints so that when the work is seen you will know that I was there trying to communicate with you. That on the other side of the time and space that the object has travelled I was touching the place where you are touching and relatively standing in the place where you are stood.
I still believe all of that, and I think that what I have made still has traces that it was created by hand by a person. However I think that in my previous work I would lean into the indulgence of flaws perhaps too heavily, and not enough into my technical making skills.
It's been far too long since I have really tried my best. I feel really grateful to have this experience and to make something so cool for somebody I care about.
Stuck in my head: Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac
Watching: Interview with a Vampire
Finished and weeping over: Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
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